Category Archives: Robin Prag Psychologist

Men vs. women (Forgetting vs. forgiving)

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“Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this. Men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.”

– Robert Jordan: The Dragon Reborn.

T.H.I.N.K. before you speak.

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This simple little sign was pinned to the corkboard in my local Community Hall:

“THINK before you speak [re a potentially conflictual or provocative situation].
ie. Is what you are about to say:

True?

Helpful?

Inspiring?

Necessary?

Kind?”

 

Wow, so simple, but so profound.
And practical too.

 

Sunshine or Rain?

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We only ask for sunshine,
We did not want the rain;
But see the flowers that spring from showers
All up and down the plain.

We beg the gods for laughter
We shrink, we dread the tears,
But grief’s redress is happiness
Alternate through the years.

Helen Hay Whitney.

Making the “Correct” Decision

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We need to accept the fact that there may often be no ideal decision.
What matters most is not the choice itself but the reason behind the choice.
If we choose something out of fear, the result of our action may be unsatisfactory and unstable; if we choose in faith, the outcome of our action will probably take us in the direction we need to go, however haltingly.”

– Caroline Myss.

Diagnosis

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“Then the diagnostic team come in an’ diagnozzles the whole shebang!
‘Diagnostic’? Lessee – agnostic means, ‘one what don’t know’ an’ di is a Greek prefix denotin’ twofold – so the ‘di-agnostic team’ don’t know twice as much as an ordinary agnostic … right?”

Pogo (1966).

The Blessing of Tears

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“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears for they are the rain upon the blinding dust of earth overlying our hard hearts.”

Charles Dickens (in Great Expectations).

Friends

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“We give thanks for our friends.
Our dear friends.
We anger each other.
We share this sad earth, this tender life, this precious time.
Such richness. Such wildness.
Together we are blown about.
Together we are dragged along.
All this delight.
All this suffering.
All this forgiving life.
We hold it together.

Amen. ”

–  Michael Leunig. 

Bereavement

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“Once we accept that we are going to lose something, something new comes along. That is the way bereavement works. This is reality, not consolation; but we forget that.”

– Marie de Hennezel, in her book, “The warmth of the heart prevents your body from rusting”. 

Gratitude & Resilience

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“There are two things you need in order to live and cope well in spite of all of Life’s adversities: gratitude and resilience.”

– Glenda’s Dictum.

Concentration/ Focus

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“There is nothing that concentrates the mind like the prospect of death”.

– Samuel Johnson.

Help us.

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“God help us to change. To change ourselves and to change our world. To know the need for it. To deal with the pain of it. To feel the joy of it. To undertake the journey without understanding the destination. The art of gentle revolution.”

– Michael Leunig. 

The Faint Light of Hope.

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“We were talking about painful things, and yet I think both of us felt unaccountably happy. Easily cheered. This sharing, this acknowledgement of what it is to be human – this was the faint light of hope from the edge of melancholy.”

Dani Shapiro: Devotion
Read the rest of this entry

Great Marriages

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“Great marriages cannot be constructed by individuals who are terrified by their basic aloneness, as so commonly is the case, and seek a merging in marriage.  Genuine love not only respects the individuality of the other but actually seeks to cultivate it, even at the risk of separation or loss.  The ultimate goal of life remains the spiritual growth of the individual, the solitary journey to peaks that can be climbed only alone.”

– Scott Peck

Experiencing the “Big Emotions”.

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“What undramatic lives we lead, most of us. We get up, we eat, we work, we play, we go to bed, and in the morning we get up again. Sometimes we are not very well, sometimes we are not very lucky. We make more money today than yesterday, or yesterday than today; we are annoyed, amused, flattered, offended, happy, unhappy. That is all. We experience how few of the big emotions, how few of the big events. We do not even die until it is too late to be aware of it.

We do well enough without the big emotions. The big emotions are generally uncomfortable, and it is fitting that they should be reserved for others. For we cannot get rid of the idea that there is a Special Providence looking after us, a Providence much more interested, much more careful, than the one which is looking after our neighbour. Others may be run over as they cross the crowded street; that would not surprise us. But it is incredible that it could happen to ourselves. Our first emotion would not be fear, but amazement. Surely a mistake has been made!”

A.A. Milne (author of Winnie the Pooh, in his adult novel, Mr Pim Passes By).