“Yet, my fantasy of marriage as a wellspring of contentment has completely disappeared, and so should yours. Thinking you get happiness ever after is a ticket to divorce. I’ll tell you the four things I now know about marriage, from my own transforming relationship and from conversations with other flummoxed spouses:
A. Marriage can be hell;
B. The grass is not greener on the other side;
C. Savour the highs, because one thing you can count on – the dips are just around the corner; and
D. Nobody is perfect, so you may as well love the one you’re with.
To get to this stage took a lot of work and a lot of tears. I cannot imagine going through this psyche-searing task again with someone new. Therefore, I surrender to this imperfect marriage, because I love it more than I hate it and I committed to this man with a promise that I need to, we all need to, do our best to fulfill.
– Iris Krasnow: Surrendering to Marriage.